give thanks.

it's been months since my last post. i suppose it means something along the lines of "i've been so busy doing life that i haven't had time to blog". we're now in to the holiday season, and our charming little boy is now 9 months old! nine! months! old! i can't believe it. these have been some of the most challenging and rewarding months of my life. it's difficult to remember what life was like before this little one joined our family.

i'm thankful for  many things this year. among them: family, friends, health, and faith. 

xoxo,

pj

weeks 14 & 15 // father's day!

These past weeks have been really busy for our little family. Hubby has started his final quarter in grad school, which includes a clinical immersion component at a suburban hospital. We have been juggling our schedules so that we're each home with L 1-2 days per week, and then a family friend has been babysitting him for us 2 days / week. So far, it's been working out just fine. It's all going to change again when Hubby graduates in August -- when we will look for a more permanent childcare provider and have a more predictable schedule. I've been enjoying my days with the little guy, though some are better than others, depending on whether or not he complies with napping. He still fusses just before falling asleep, and sometimes he skips the naps altogether, but we just try to take it as it is. He's been sleeping well through the night, though occasionally waking between 12a-2a, 3a-4a, and then around 6a.

He has been spending more time in the Bumbo seat, and playing with his friends on the floor gym. He's started trying to put everything he can get his hands on into his mouth. He also has been drooling like a fool, which causes him a little rash around his chin. Overall, he's a happy little guy. Papa started doing a new move with him "chest bumps" which he loves - he squeals and smiles.

We celebrated Hubby's first father's day with Chicago-style dogs and I got the boys matching Darth Vader bicycle t-shirts. It was a good day. I just love watching the two of them interact. And the way that L smiles when papa talks to him and smiles at him? It's the sweetest thing.



 



Things I've learned in the past two weeks:

• Levi does not {I repeat ... does NOT} like the pacifier. I've tried, Hubby has tried, Grandma and Grandpa have tried. He just doesn't want it. I know that this will save us the difficulty of "taking the paci away day" when he's six months old, but sometimes I think it would be nice if he would just take it. Instead, he loves shoving his fingers and tiny little hands into his mouth.


• Cloth diapering may not be for us {gasp!}. I {we} simply cannot keep up with the laundry as-needed for cloth diapering. There are days when we do better than others, but I've resigned myself to the fact that it's okay. I'm holding on to all of our diapers that I have in the stash to hopefully resume when we have a better handle on our schedule. For now, we are using Seventh Generation disposables {which I love}, and have tested out The Honest Company disposables as well {which we will likely purchase in the future}.


• Breastfeeding, pumping, etc. is a lot of work! Not only is it difficult to figure out timing for pumping at work, I spend more time washing and sanitizing breast pump parts than I even imagined possible. Before I went back to work, I pumped consistently before bedtime, but that was it. Now, I pump about 3 times per day if I'm gone the entire day, plus once before bed. This week, I pumped twice in the car ... which is just awkward. Although it's challenging {again, some days better than others}, I am so grateful to have this experience. Breastfeeding is very important to me, and I'm hopeful that we'll make it to a year {or maybe longer}.

More updates to come!

xoxo,

PJ

weeks 12 & 13

These last few weeks L seems to be changing every day. Whether it's a new noise, movement, or simply the fact that he looks exponentially bigger to us. It's just amazing! On the day that L turned 3 months, I officially returned to work. Although my schedule was a bit sporadic for the first two weeks because of coordinating child care, so it was really like I returned to work part-time. It was nice to ease into it a bit.

L is really starting to show more of his personality - he loves being entertained by mama and papa. We make silly faces, noises, and perform anything we can think of that might make him smile, giggle, or coo. It's hilarious. Yes, we are THOSE people.



 

L rolled over from front to back a few times at 13 weeks. It's hilarious how exciting this little milestone is! I caught part of one of the roll overs on vine. He just rolled over and then smiled. It was the cutest little thing. He's still been sleeping pretty well through the night. We had a few rough nights around 12 weeks when he started waking up 2-3 times / night again. But it didn't last long, and we're back to our little routine of nighttime sleep from 8pm - 5/6am. Sometimes he wakes around 3/4 am for a feed, but then goes back to sleep until 6:30a. I don't mind this, since it's keeping my breastmilk supply up, and then it stretches the morning sleep a little longer. He's still nursing like a champ and doing well with the bottle during the days when I'm at work. I really treasure the times when I'm nursing him, especially now since I'm back to work.

xoxo,

PJ

11 weeks

 



L is 11 weeks old and seems to be changing each day. He really responds to voices, especially his papa's voice. He loves bath time and flails his little arms and legs as if to be saying to us "see, mama & papa, look what I can do". I adore it. He still has not been taking good naps during the day, so my hunch is that we will need to start working on this. We take daily walks and notice that he can see further now and respond to our faces from further distances. L loves talking with Grandma and Grandpa. It's such a blessing that he's able to bond with them in this special way. I'm excited to see what type of relationship he has with them as he gets older. Lennon has been more interested in the baby, and we now let him lick L's toes -- and then he just doesn't want to stop. I hope that these two are going to be best buds.

This week we switched cloth diaper brands, and are having a much better time with the new brand. I'll have a post about  diapering in the future as we figure out what works best for us -- and what disposables we use when we travel and are out and about. I'm also feeling more confident about heading back to work after reaching out to a few working mamas and reading some uplifting articles about working motherhood.

xoxo,

PJ

mother's day

today was my first mother's day. i remember last year celebrating this day with my mama and wondering if i was ever going to celebrate being a mother. life is silly like that, sometimes. fast forward to this mother's day and BAM i'm a mama. we celebrated by going to church with my parents, and both of my sisters {my middle sister who lives in michigan surprised us by coming for the weekend!!}. we celebrated with a little family nap after church and lunch -- though abbreviated by baby levi's current "nap strike". we took a few photos outside with my mama to end our little celebration.



hubby {& levi} got me a gift certificate for a massage and a beautiful mother's necklace that i fell in love with a few years ago {again, wondering when/if i would ever be a mama}. it was the perfect gift to celebrate this beautiful day and new adventure of motherhood.

i feel loved, blessed, and am so very grateful for this special day.

happy mother's day to the mamas, soon-to-be-mamas, and the hope-to-be-mamas.

xoxo,

PJ

8 weeks

i start all of these updates the same {or similar} way: "it's hard to believe ..." BUT it is hard to believe how much our little dude has grown over these past weeks - he's officially outgrown all of the newborn sized clothing, and now in 3 month sizes though they're a little big in the legs. his cheeks kill me. levi now coos and says "goo" {so now i keep saying he will someday be the CEO of Google}. he's more alert, tracking objects and faces with his eyes. it melts my heart when hubby sits next to him and plays the guitar during tummy time, or makes up a song and sings to levi about "milkies".

he's also growing more interested in his bouncy chair / rocker where he hangs out with his "friends" aka the animals hanging overhead. now that the weather has been better, we've been getting out for more walks, and trying to get a schedule going for our day. it pretty much starts around 6am - 7am, and then he snoozes every 2 hours for 30-45 minutes until the afternoon when he naps for 1-3 hours.

these last two weeks have been a bit challenging as levi's periods of fussiness seem to have increased - and a few really difficult overnights with him waking every 1-2 hours to nurse and/or waking because of gas. we've tried gripe water, gas drops, and now trying some probiotics to see if it helps. we also have to burp him frequently. he's just a gassy guy. i've also cut dairy out of my diet completely to see if that helps at all. so far, i can't tell - but i'm going to give it a few more weeks and then see how he responds to it. these past few nights, he's done better - and last night he slept in his longest stretch so far: 7.5 hours. i almost cried.

even bleary-eyed in the middle of the night, i can't help but smile when i see this little guy who needs his mama. it's a feeling that is hard to describe, and i wouldn't trade it for anything.

xoxo,

PJ

PS: hubby dressed levi for the day ... cracks me up mostly because he's wearing little socks that look like high tops and a  onesie that says "mommy rocks" {and he knows how i feel about the cheesy onesies ...}.

PPS: it was extremely windy today, hence the hand on the head and the fly-aways. but levi's facial expression in the second photo is my favorite.

easter 2013

 

this year, we celebrated easter for the first time as a family of three {four with lennon}. we took L to church for the first time and he got to meet more of our friends and family. although it's super distracting taking a newborn to church, it's important to Hubby and I that we introduce L to church and teach him the importance of faith in our lives. hopefully this is something that L will incorporate into his life as well. i find myself overwhelmed with the responsibility to teach him about love and faith; also blessed that this is something that i get to share with him.

after church, we continued the celebration of easter with dinner, a family nap, and then opened easter baskets from both sets of grandparents. although L didn't get any easter candy {mama did, so i guess he got to taste some cadbury chocolate} - he did get some new toys, a few outfits, and a book about easter from Hubby's parents.

it was a special day made complete by L wearing his very first "outfit" put together by mama - a white button down, cardigan, and pants. this prompted our first easter family photo {see above}.

i will just make one more comment about how husbands suddenly become 10x more attractive when they're holding your baby?? dang.



xoxo,
PJ

4 weeks

 

our little dude turned 4 weeks last thursday. i cannot believe how fast these past weeks have gone. i love taking these weekly photos because it's fun to track how much L has changed. he's starting to fill out more, and his cheeks are starting to get bigger - i can't help but kiss them 100x a day! it's so fun to watch him discover things, respond to voices and track with his eyes. he really likes the sunlight and the sound of mama and papa's voice. he loves to be swaddled for night time sleep {although there's not much night time sleep happening}. he's not so crazy about bath time or snot sucker time. he loves hanging out on the changing table and looking at the face of whoever is changing him. he's gassy a lot and poots and burps almost as loud as his papa. he gets lots of hiccups and makes an adorable little whimper sound after he lets out a huge burp. he purses his lips when he's pooping.

his eyes look blue now, but we wonder when they settle on their color if they will stay blue like papa's or change to green like mama's. L still nurses like a champ and eats 10-14 times a day. he took his first bottle from dad on the day he turned 4 weeks and did great! we've also introduced the paci, but L still isn't crazy about it, and doesn't like to take it from mama. he loves to sleep on grandpa's chest for little snoozes; grandma works her magic when L is mister fussy pants. he grunts and squeaks so much that one of his nicknames is "squeaks". L doesn't love tummy time, but tolerates it enough to wiggle around and bob his head up and down with lots of encouragement.

these are the things i want to remember about these first weeks with our little dude.

xoxo,

PJ

thoughts on motherhood: part one

let me start by stating: mothers rule.

before becoming a mother {just a little under a month ago}, i had no idea about the amount of anxiety i would experience about every. little. thing. i've spent more time googling things these past few weeks than i have in the past year. nipple confusion? acid reflux? baby poop colors, textures, and frequency? baby hiccups? baby lip quiver? when to introduce a bottle to a newborn? i'm not being dramatic. on top of the googling, i've been reading various philosophies about sleep training newborns and babies. phew.

i found myself worrying about whether or not L would have nipple confusion if we introduced a pacifier. or when we introduce the bottle, if he will like the bottle more than the breast. it all came to a head at about three weeks postpartum. i was sleep-deprived and emotionally exhausted. not only was i adjusting to this new life with our little guy, but i was spending my *spare* energy worrying about things that may or may not ever happen. in reality, L is on the fence about the pacifier, we still haven't introduced the bottle, baby hiccups are common, and his poop is normal. after an epic meltdown, i felt a weight lifted from my soul - and each day since then has been better.

L eats like a champ and latched on just after he was born, and has been consistent with eating ever since. but since i'm the only one able to feed him, means that he's attached to one of my boobies every 1-3 hours, 24 hours / day. i find myself in this strange state of exhilaration and exhaustion. i do think it's a incredible that my giant boobies have finally been put to work {and man, are they a workin'}.  i love the little grunts he makes when he eats, the way his little hand finds a place to rest hooked around my shirt, and the face he makes just after a marathon feed {i call it "milk face"}. i'm so grateful to have this experience and to bond with my little boy in this way. is it work? yes. but to me, it's worth the sometimes sore nipples and multiple sleep interruptions.

as far as the anxiety goes about doing everything "right" ... one of the best things i've read so far from the baby books? "do what feels natural". i feed L when he shows signs of hunger, without concern for whether or not it's been an hour or three since his last feed. when he's restless in his bassinet, i cuddle him in bed until he calms down and sleeps. i'm not interested in debating the hot topics {breastfeeding on demand, co-sleeping, etc.}. i'm learning to trust my instincts. i'm learning what L responds to and what he needs to feel loved and secure. after all, isn't that what it's all about?

xoxo,

a new momma

i know that breastfeeding is a hot button to press in the motherhood world. i would like to say that my own process has led me to have no judgement for those who have not enjoyed or been able to breastfeed. i am simply sharing my opinion about this topic -- my first and only experience with it.

36 / 37 weeks

 

These last few weeks have flown by! I'm now seeing the Midwife every week in anticipation of this little dude's impending arrival. Overall, I'm still feeling good - though he has definitely dropped his little head into my pelvis thus making walking much more uncomfortable. I've got the waddle-walk down.

Two weekends ago I had a family baby shower which was so fun! It was great to see both sides of our family - Hubby's and mine together. It meant so much to me that Hubby's sister and our adorable niece Stella flew in from Denver, people traveled from Michigan for the day, and one of my oldest friends traveled from St. Louis.



This past week my co-workers threw a baby shower for me which was fun - we got even more stuff: adorable clothes, swaddles, and an itty bitty bathtub to name a few items. It's still so overwhelming to me how generous people are when there's a baby on the way. This little dude has more clothes than I do. Now, if I can just get all the clothes washed and put away, we'll be set.

I've scheduled my last prenatal massage for this week, and am looking forward to some pampering for my tired muscles!

xoxo,

PJ

January 13, 2013

I can't believe it's been over a month since my last post. The holidays have come and gone, and we're 13 days into this new year. This year, Hubby and I were able to spend time with his side of the family for Christmas and New Year's. It was really nice to be out of the City and with family. We also got to meet our niece, Stella and hang out with her parents who live in Colorado. Super fun. FYI - She's absolutely adorable and it makes me even more excited for our little dude's arrival.

This past weekend, Hubby and I took our first "baby" class - a breast feeding class. It was awesome. I learned a ton, and feel really encouraged. I'm also keeping an open mind about my expectations {especially the length of time that I'd like to be able to breastfeed}. Heading back to work after 12 weeks is going to be difficult and one of the things I was really worried about was figuring out a pumping schedule. Now, I have a bunch of resources about setting up a realistic schedule prior to my return to work and tips about adjusting baby to bottle feeds. Overall, I'm pumped {pun intended}. Later this month we're taking our two-day birthing class via Mother Me, Inc. I'm really excited!

One of my favorite things about having a kiddo a little later than our friends is their incredible generosity of passing on hand-me-downs for little dude. Seriously! Maternity clothes {thanks, B!}, clothes, toys, bottles, and accessories for this mama has saved us literally hundreds of dollars. I'm so thankful and grateful for the support of our friends. I haven't purchased more than $40 worth of clothes, and this little dude is set for at least his 6 months. Though there are still a million more things it feels like we should have -- we can now afford to purchase the items that we really want because of the support {like our stroller}.

Here are the last two pregnancy update photos ...





xoxo,

PJ

oh boy oh boy oh boy

Last week we had our milestone 20-week ultrasound. I was so nervous {because working in a hospital full of sick children makes me think that there is something wrong with each child} headed in to the ultrasound. I'm happy to report that little bebe was moving around and looks to be right on track with growth and development! Little bebe measured in at 14 ounces, 61st percentile for weight at 20 weeks {which is just an estimation, but still ... that's great!}.

Our ultrasound tech was a rockstar and did just what we asked by not revealing bebe's sex to us during the ultrasound; instead she printed off the gender revealing ultrasound photo and tucked it inside an envelope for Hubby and I to open privately together. She also packed our little gift to open later in the evening with our family.

Hubby and I went to dinner together after our appointment at one of our favorite spots: Uncommon Ground. We knew we couldn't wait until the end of the meal - so we opened it immediately after we ordered, and toasted to the little one {with our ice water}.



I teared up a little bit thinking about our little dude and the fact that now we know a little bit more about the little that's been moving around inside me.

Later in the evening, we gathered our family members in person, via Skype, and Facetime to share the news. We opened our little package that the ultrasound tech packed for us with the onesie and the envelope labeled "BOY" with the little photo tucked inside. It was a fun way to share with our family our news about the baby's gender.



The next day, Hubby and I took the photo to announce to extended family and friends. My initial idea fell through because of the madness of Halloween weekend in Chicago. I planned to get lettered balloons to spell out "BOY" but the party stores were a nightmare. Alternate plan included what was available at our local grocery store. It was incredibly windy so it didn't turn out quite as nice as I'd hoped but it was still fun.



Though Lennon didn't behave well for the photos, we got him at the end by promising him some treats.

This photo shows what he was really like during our attempts ...



Though I am a little freaked out about having a boy {I've only got sisters, and lots of females in my side of the family}, I know that this little dude is going to steal my heart and the heart of his papa. That's a pretty sweet feeling.

xoxo,

PJ

October

 

 

I am almost half way through this pregnancy and FINALLY starting to feel *normal* again. These are the photo updates that I post on Facebook and Instagram every few weeks to show the growing baby bump. In addition to the growing belly and expected arrival of this little bebe in March, I also changed jobs and left my position at the hospital. It was an extremely hard decision but I think it will be best for me and for our little growing family - allowing flexibility and freedom to have an open schedule. I had one week off in-between the position change, which ended up being a challenging week as my grandmother passed away.

We spent a weekend in Michigan to celebrate Hubby's cousins' wedding. It was nice to get out of the city for a night and visit with extended family members we haven't seen in a long time. Oh, and we stopped and picked out a few pumpkins and some delicious cider donuts. Also, we're officially an aunt and uncle! Hubby's sister Jen had her baby girl! This means that little bebe and Stella will be just a few months apart. How great is that?!

Dad ran his 9th marathon this month! And our friend P ran his first. Marathon weekend in this city is just so much fun - and even more amazing when you're able to cheer on friends and family during their 26.2 mile journey.

It's been an exciting month among these parts, and the end of this month will bring even more news as we find out little bebe's gender! 

 xoxo,

PJ

a little announcement

Since it's been months since my last post, I'd like to state that I am in fact still here. Lots of things going on in the lives of PJ & Hubby right now.

The biggest thing to happen {besides me turning 29} was discovering that I'm pregnant the day after my birthday. Pregnant! Little baby D is due in March. Although we were not planning on this, we are feeling very excited about this new adventure ... parenthood.

Now back in to the swing of things and feeling a little better {FYI: morning-noon-night sickness is wicked} that I'm headed into the second trimester, I'll be back to blogging. There is another major change happening, but I don't want to overwhelm. I'll share that update soon.

xoxo,

PJ

Festivities

The big holiday weekend has come and gone. For the first time since starting my new job, I had four consecutive days off. No on-calls, no nothing. It was lovely. I slept in, stayed up late, and spent quality time with my family.

Friday night my sister and brother in law drove in from Michigan.

Saturday morning my dad and I went for a glorious 4.5 mile run, then returned to assist with brunch hosted by my parents for my extended family: aunt, uncle, cousins, and my cousin's family. It was delicious. Saturday night Hubby and I went to a Hanukkah hosted by B and her husband.

Sunday morning was spent sleeping in, eating a laid-back breakfast, sipping coffee. Hubby strummed the guitar while we sang Christmas carols and spent time listening to my parents read the scriptures. Instead of cooking traditional dinner, we all went out to a late lunch at a local Chinese restaurant.

Overall, it was such a great weekend spent with family, creating new memories and sharing old ones. Gosh, I wish we all lived in the same place.

Here's a little photo recap of our Christmas weekend:

{Hanukkah Party with B on Saturday night}

{Christmas morning all of the kids on the couch ... plus Lennon}

{Sisters}

{New sleep masks courtesy of Carolyn}

{New snuggies courtesy of Hubby}

{My most favorite little gift - Marcel the Shell with Shoes On book}

{My most favorite pretty gift - a necklace from Hubby that he picked out all by himself}

{The family all together}

{The Christmas Doggy}

Since all of our holiday card-making items were buried in our storage unit, this year we ordered {gasp!} our holiday cards to coincide with the new year. I will post a photo of our card for my 2011 recap/ new year goal post coming up.

xoxo,

PJ