weeks 9 & 10

This post is a bit late, since L is now 11 weeks old, but since that post isn't ready yet -- here you go.

This little guy is such a joy. And he seems to be changing each day. Every morning, Hubby and I comment that his face looks bigger. Ha! He's making more sounds, and has been really enjoying playing on the floor with his "friends" -- this time they are the animals that hang above him. He's also crying louder and more dramatically {as in, kicking his legs when he's really worked up}.

He's smiling more and more each day. My heart just melts every time. I can't help it.

 

He's been on a "nap strike" for the past two weeks. Instead of taking a nice long afternoon nap like he did before, he's been sleeping in 30-45 minute increments throughout the day. And I can tell that he's so sleepy, he just keeps fighting it. Poor guy. In other sleep news, he has been sleeping consistently from about 8pm - 5:30am. He wakes crying, Hubby changes him, and then he smiles until he's nursing again. It's the sweetest thing. It pretty much started on the day that he turned 8 weeks and has continued since then, his shortest stretch since then has been 7.5 hours, which is still fine by me. It allows me some down time in the evenings after he's asleep, and a solid 5 hours of sleep / night.

We're still working on the schedule, especially since he's not been napping. I'm just being patient with myself and with him to figure out what works best for us.

xoxo,

PJ

 

thoughts on motherhood: part two

As my maternity leave comes to an end {I'm back to work full time two weeks from today}, I realized this week that I should probably start preparing myself for what will inevitably be a rather emotional transition. I never thought that I would want to be a full time stay-at-home-mama. Pretty much since we've been married, I have said that working part-time would be my ideal situation: I would get to spend quality time with our babes, and continue on my career path that I had spent so much time establishing. Funny how things change. If you ask me today, given the choice between returning to work and staying home with our babe, I would probably choose to stay home. As our pregnancy was a complete surprise, thus very little planning beyond the nine months, I will be returning to work full time {at least  until Hubby graduates in August and subsequently lands a job -- then my dreams of part time workery may become a reality}. Our child care is still up in the air due to Hubby's unknown clinical rotation schedule. Though I know that things always have a way of working themselves out, this only adds to the list of "things for which we cannot prepare".

I've turned into a bit of a hermit since birthing this boy, and I think that it's subconsciously because I know that I have to go back to work. I want to soak up all the time that I can with him. I want to spend my days cuddling with him, feeding him, putting him to bed, taking walks and watching him become more interactive every day -- because it feels like I'm going to miss out on so many of his days. This has really been a struggle for me -- the guilt of returning to work,  leaving this babe and the "well I'm the only one who knows how to {fill in the blank} for Levi". I'm slowly learning to accept that he will be fine; we will be fine. I know that some mamas aren't able to take much time off after giving birth, some mamas don't want to take an extended leave, and that other mamas know from the beginning that they will not return to work. The beauty is that there's a middle ground -- and this is where I've landed. This is my journey of motherhood: to figure out how to be a mother, work outside of our home, to find a balance between my career and my little family.



I've been reading a lot of "mommy blogs" lately for extra doses of encouragement and inspiration. Although a majority of them are home with their littles full time, a few of my favorites are: Love Taza, Jen Loves Kev, Dear Baby, and Nat the Fat Rat. I particularly love NTFR's posts on breastfeeding, and DB's posts discussing working motherhood.

...more to come, of this I am certain.

xoxo,

PJ

mother's day

today was my first mother's day. i remember last year celebrating this day with my mama and wondering if i was ever going to celebrate being a mother. life is silly like that, sometimes. fast forward to this mother's day and BAM i'm a mama. we celebrated by going to church with my parents, and both of my sisters {my middle sister who lives in michigan surprised us by coming for the weekend!!}. we celebrated with a little family nap after church and lunch -- though abbreviated by baby levi's current "nap strike". we took a few photos outside with my mama to end our little celebration.



hubby {& levi} got me a gift certificate for a massage and a beautiful mother's necklace that i fell in love with a few years ago {again, wondering when/if i would ever be a mama}. it was the perfect gift to celebrate this beautiful day and new adventure of motherhood.

i feel loved, blessed, and am so very grateful for this special day.

happy mother's day to the mamas, soon-to-be-mamas, and the hope-to-be-mamas.

xoxo,

PJ

8 weeks

i start all of these updates the same {or similar} way: "it's hard to believe ..." BUT it is hard to believe how much our little dude has grown over these past weeks - he's officially outgrown all of the newborn sized clothing, and now in 3 month sizes though they're a little big in the legs. his cheeks kill me. levi now coos and says "goo" {so now i keep saying he will someday be the CEO of Google}. he's more alert, tracking objects and faces with his eyes. it melts my heart when hubby sits next to him and plays the guitar during tummy time, or makes up a song and sings to levi about "milkies".

he's also growing more interested in his bouncy chair / rocker where he hangs out with his "friends" aka the animals hanging overhead. now that the weather has been better, we've been getting out for more walks, and trying to get a schedule going for our day. it pretty much starts around 6am - 7am, and then he snoozes every 2 hours for 30-45 minutes until the afternoon when he naps for 1-3 hours.

these last two weeks have been a bit challenging as levi's periods of fussiness seem to have increased - and a few really difficult overnights with him waking every 1-2 hours to nurse and/or waking because of gas. we've tried gripe water, gas drops, and now trying some probiotics to see if it helps. we also have to burp him frequently. he's just a gassy guy. i've also cut dairy out of my diet completely to see if that helps at all. so far, i can't tell - but i'm going to give it a few more weeks and then see how he responds to it. these past few nights, he's done better - and last night he slept in his longest stretch so far: 7.5 hours. i almost cried.

even bleary-eyed in the middle of the night, i can't help but smile when i see this little guy who needs his mama. it's a feeling that is hard to describe, and i wouldn't trade it for anything.

xoxo,

PJ

PS: hubby dressed levi for the day ... cracks me up mostly because he's wearing little socks that look like high tops and a  onesie that says "mommy rocks" {and he knows how i feel about the cheesy onesies ...}.

PPS: it was extremely windy today, hence the hand on the head and the fly-aways. but levi's facial expression in the second photo is my favorite.

6 weeks

 

it's hard to believe that baby L is now 6 weeks old. these past weeks have been some of the most challenging and rewarding weeks of my life. you mamas know what i mean by that. i wouldn't trade these weeks for the world. and i wouldn't complain if L would sleep for 7 continuous hours overnight.

L is starting to sleep for longer stretches at nighttime (5.5 is the most so far ...). he's also starting to do a late morning / early afternoon nap that gives this mama a nice little break to shower, get dressed, and eat a meal with both hands. he's developed a case of baby acne, or some sort of a rash which makes his little face look so sad. i hope it goes away soon :( he started smiling more this week, which just cracks me up. it's adorable! he also has been doing more "giggles" in his sleep, which just make me so excited for the time that he's going to actually giggle while he's awake and entertained with something. he's still growing and eating like a champ. papa has still been doing a few bottles a week, and L chugs it down pretty well. he's a pretty gassy baby, so we're still figuring out how best to help him with that. poor little guy. now that the weather has been warmer, we have been trying to get out for a little walk every day. and although i have my go-ahead from my midwife to start working out again, i've given myself two more weeks to get L on more of a schedule.

in partially related news, i've officially reached my halfway point of my maternity leave. it's crazy to think that i've got to go back to work in 6 weeks when all i currently want to do is watch L every waking moment so i don't miss anything. this will be a difficult transition, i just know it. good thing i've got a few more weeks to figure out my feelings.

xoxo,

PJ